4: Reconnecting to spirit Together we have looked long and hard at ourselves to identify negative ego. Having made a conscious choice to walk the path of the soul, it's absolutely vital that we proceed to create room in our busy lives on a daily basis to remember the best parts of who we actually are - the goodness, the joy, the kindness, the caring, the courage, the wisdom. We have found that the "who" we really are deep down inside is Spirit, the source of authentic power. Sometimes, I come across resistance to the word "Spirit". When I use the word Spirit, some people feel afraid that the disciplines I teach might conflict with their religion. Don't be concerned. I am simply asking you to focus on the mind-body-spirit connection - nothing more. I have studied most of the major religions and I have found they have one core fundamental similarity, which is unconditional love. My teachings focus on this aspect and how to open yourself up to feel, give and receive love. I don't believe that Spirit is something we are given by a particular religion. We are born with this power of Spirit, which is the gift of life itself. Everything we do or say has an act of Spirit in it. It's the part of us which is separate to personality. It's the part of ourselves which inspires us to reach for our dreams, live the next chapter of our lives against all odds when the personality self has given up. It is the voice which says you "can" do it! It's an undefeatable force which says, "I can serve humanity. My life does have purpose. I can make a difference!"

The personality voice says, "Buy another dress. Get a certain car. Get a better job. Change partners. Make a geographical change and you'll feel better." But these external changes do not create lasting happiness.

When you become strong in Spirit, you can accept the journey for which you really contracted to be here. From all the teachings I have studied, I have come to believe and accept for myself that before we are born we choose our parents, friends, partners and life-path. We do so in order to evolve our nature on specific levels through experience. I feel we all make a sacred life contract before we are born wherein we decide what our gift to humanity, nature and self will be this time around. When we are born we forget this and get caught up with personality issues. However, in all our lives there are times when we are in so much pain that our grasp on personality issues weakens and we start to remember who we really are. We all have chances to become aware of what it is that we should be and do, that which will bring deep satisfaction to our Souls.

Take time to think about your contract. Go within and be calm! Don't panic if everything has fallen apart in your life, you feel depressed and suicidal. Remember that flowers die off in the Winter but they bloom again in the right season. So can we, but for us there is inner work involved. Remember that you don't need a certain car, watch, address, etc., in order to like the life you have. Your Soul needs strength. It needs to feel undefeatable. Your life is bigger than just the every day chores and the wants of the personality self.

Be willing to be grateful and thankful for what you do have. Every day for a month, write a "gratitude list" of five things you are grateful for. Read it every day. This will open your heart and your mind. It will make you aware of how much goodness and how much love there is in your life, of how much you have become disconnected from or taken for granted. Soon, you will begin to realise that your life has purpose beyond the personality self. You don't need approval from others to love yourself - to see your true beauty. You don't need to test yourself or prove yourself to anyone. You can just be.

We are here to save far more than ourselves. We are all here for a divine purpose. Life becomes much easier when we have faith in concepts such as these - when we believe in a sacred life contract. Then we can tell ourselves, "I have purpose and by connecting to Spirit I am remembering this purpose. I live it as best I know how and life will take care of itself!" Take a look at nature, you don't see birds flying around with stress and tension worrying about worms and paying for nests. They trust in the universe and know that all their needs will be met. By reconnecting to Spirit and discovering your sacred life contract, the daily business of living becomes free and easier. Then synchronicities start to occur and guide you. It starts with a tiny inkling that there is something sacred in everything. Then you begin to search. A day-by-day process commences, revealing more synchronicities. Then you begin to just see without searching. Revelationary experiences shift your consciousness and suddenly you don't recognise the powerful person you have become. You reconnect to Spirit. Remember that reiki on a daily basis fast-tracks this process a thousandfold. Someone I taught recently calls it "spiritual fast food".

NO DISTRACTION

You don't need to do some sort of severe religious retreat for three years to reconnect with Spirit. By practising the techniques I am giving you daily, everyday life becomes a "living" meditation; in the supermarket, in the car, on the train, at work and at play.

Initially, I would suggest that you do a "home retreat" where you practice the art of "no distraction". It's a simple yet powerful way to reconnect with Spirit. You can do this even if you are at work.

When you get home every evening, start your retreat. Allow yourself no TV, no magazines or newspapers, no music with negative words, no social engagements for a month, and no heavy duty household chores. Disconnect the telephone. Simplify your life for a whole month!
Light candles and incense. Play healing music to relax and inspire you. Have a candlelit bath with aromatherapy oils. Do some reiki, do a meditation, pray, dance, paint, sing, and eat good healthy wholesome food. Walk in nature. Do an unsolicited act of kindness for a stranger or someone at work and see how great that feels. Above all start a "power journal" and write about your feelings and discoveries. Get a sense of who you really are and where you are going. These are all powerful ways to tap into and access Spirit.

POWER JOURNALING At the ancient Temple at Delphi one thing was written above the entrance, "Know Thyself". We achieve this through self-inquiry, identifying the negative ego, and remembering the best aspects of self. Start a power journal and tell your life story. Consider your sacred life contract and look at how close or how far you are from fulfiling it. Review your parents, your childhood, your adolescence and continue on through your life right up to date. Forgive yourself and others for any pain caused. Write an amends list and make amends with those you have caused pain. Forgiveness is one of the most important lessons in life. As we forgive, so we are forgiven which allows us to feel grace.

Write a list of your values and give feedback as to how you measure up. How are you living these values? Are you walking your talk even when no one is watching? Write down your hopes, goals, dreams and aspirations. Then make action lists in order to achieve these. This brings the reward of clarity. It helps you to move forward with ease and grace in a direction of your own choice, rather than in an effort to people-please. Examine your innermost thoughts, the parts of you that are blocking your dreams, hopes and aspirations from manifesting. Write about the parts of yourself that you don't want others to find out about or that you don't want to face yourself. Embrace, then overcome and release your shadow-self behaviours. More precisely, release the negative expresions and integrate the positive expressions of your shadow. This brings self-acceptance and allows you to shed resistance. Then you can move closer to living the life you really want to live, to being the person you truly are. Remember what we resist in life, persists!

Learn about what your body really needs in terms of nutrients, exercise, relaxation and right relationships with others. List in great detail your most shining qualities and all the good things you have achieved or wish to achieve. How do you currently nurture yourself? Examine new ways of being kind to yourself and giving time to yourself. While you are concentrating on the good aspects of self, write a list of acts of kindness, caring, relaxation or fun things to do in order to reward yourself. Then do the things on your list!

Write about your fears. "Owning" your fears defeats the power they have over you. Each time you conquer a fear, you are releasing energy that can be more positively channelled into a creative aspect of your life. Face your fears and live your dreams.

Examine how much harmony and balance there is in your life. Make boxes for self, family, work, love-life, friends, leisure and relaxation, exercise, education and connecting to Spirit. Are you putting everything into one box? If you are, the chances are that your life is a total mess, reflecting this imbalance. Start to balance your energies between these "life boxes" and activities and you will see the harmony come back into your life.

Make a "trash" section and write down aspects of self which no longer serve the new you and then eliminate them. Make sure you include all the fears, rigid false beliefs, doubts and any other mental and emotional excess baggage or debris that is preventing you from walking the path of the soul and being the new powerful you.

Write about visions for the future for you spiritually, in your work and play, your relationships and for the planet. What kind of world would you like to create? Then, using sound conscious languaging, list these things as if they exist in your life now. "I choose to be powerful, loving and courageous" is a wonderful vision. Although it might not be reality at the time of writing, it can soon become one. Stating it as accomplished now it isn't a lie. You are choosing something. By choosing to be something and then acting "as if", we are on the way to becoming it!

As you begin to examine yourself and put your findings into writing, a healing begins. And so you are guided within to reconnect with Spirit. Instead of seeing life's challenges as your own personal movie of constant pain, suffering and loss, where you are always the "victim", learn to greet life's challenges as teachers. I don't believe it's possible to reach Spirit without loss or pain. So accept it. That's how we are given the chance to become aware of our separation from self. Pain nudges us to reconnect with our soul and grow.

Each and every one of us has at least one life-changing event. It may be the death of a loved one, divorce, redundancy or something else that causes the personality to meet the Spirit. At these times we are given the opportunity to choose which voice we are going to listen.

Unenlightened onlookers ask me why, if I am spiritually advanced and in mastery, do negative things (their judgement not mine) still happen to me? A wise person feels the perfection in everything and knows all experiences to be great teachers. Such wisdom also recognises there is karma to be cleared in our relationships with others. Actually, a wealthy banker client fell into this trap when I was late for an appointment because somebody ran into the back of my car. She also thought that at this stage of spiritual mastery, my life should be perfect. There are no shoulds or should nots. Everything is perfect even an accident, a divorce or a death. There is a teaching in everything - normally the more powerful teachings come with the more painful experiences. Do also remember that pain is only a sign that we are resisting the tao and need to practice acceptance. Mastery is about how we respond to these so called 'negative' experiences or life events.

For instance the death of my friend was not a terrible tragedy. He died of AIDS yet in his long battle for life, he was able to get rid of his ego masks. He chose to drop the persona people pleasing life style. He courageously allowed all his suppressed feelings to surface. He threw in his job that he hated in order to focus on his transformation, even though he lived in poverty as a result. Instead of suppressing his feelings or blaming other people for his fear, grief and anger - he was mostly able to face his shadow issues, own them and release them. He found the courage to tell others why he was dying, even though he feared rejection. Instead of abandonment, he found love and understanding, friendship and joy. He felt enough self acceptance to ask for help and got it. He asked for a miracle and he got it because he changed his own perceptions and beliefs. He died in a far more enlightened way to how he had lived most of his life.

It's one thing being sad about dying yet it is quite another to deny the sadness of a life lived unhappily trapped in ego, living the lie. He died a free man and his spirit soared with joy. I am delighted to have been able to help him for I too learned so very much.

We can all of us choose to live the new life after a trauma or great loss, in a much bolder more powerful way, embracing greatness. When you choose Spirit, you will find an unfoldment of a life much greater than you could have anticipated. In the ordinary scheme of things, you probably don't even dream that such a life could ever be possible. When you consider the gifts they can bring, loss, pain and suffering are ultimately understood as gifts. Besides helping us to see where we have diverted from our Soul-path, they put us back in touch with the pain, loss and suffering of others. That is where our humanity, our compassion is. Living in harmony with your life-contract and feeling your connection with others is the path of the Soul.

I connect with my Spirit by daily healing, meditation, journalling, smiling at a stranger who smiles back, and walking in nature. I connect through kind gestures to others (especially when I don't feel like it). Thank the universe for energy, for life and for everything and everyone in it. I do so because, positive and negative, it all helps me to be and to grow. I recommend that you learn to do this, too. We can come back from all life-shattering events. Life comes back, just as the flowers bloom again in Spring. If we connect with Spirit we become stronger. There's an old saying, "If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger" and I, for one, can certainly vouch for that. Above all, be patient and surrender to the process of waking up to your Spirit so that "providence" or synchronicity can guide you on to a higher path into your greatness.


Personality behaviour versus spiritual-self behaviour

Below is a checklist to identify spiritual attributes versus personality defects.
There is no behaviour that is always wrong. There is always some extreme situation in which extreme behaviour is the best choice. Did Jesus practice compassion or turn the other cheek with the money-changers? No, in his righteous anger, he thrashed them out of the temple and told them in no uncertain terms what he thought of them. Such is the action of a true spiritual warrior. What it really all boils down to is this: Are you coming from a place of love or from fear? These two are the basic emotions. All other emotions can be accurately seen as an expression of either love or fear. It can be an expression of love to be very angry, to be dissatisfied with your lot, or to rebel against the status quo. It can also be an expression of fear - particularly fear of change.

However, there are some general signs that your reactions are more attuned to spiritual attributes and less an expression of your personality defects. Where would you place yourself and your reactions in the following sets of opposites?